Grief and Loss

This summer, I have learned a simple lesson that LIFE IS FRAGILE. With a dear friend’s loss of family members and the violence in Colorado, I have been reminded to hug my family, to tell them HOW MUCH I love my children, my husband, my mom, my brother, and my family. My heart goes out to families that should never have to know sooo much loss. I have noticed that people don’t know what to say to those mourning…don’t know exactly how they are feeling. This poem manages to capture the honest, grieving soul of a mother who had to bury her child in a way that I have never heard enunciated.

Don’t Tell Me

Please don’t tell me you know how I feel,

Unless you have lost your child too.

Please don’t tell me my broken heart will heal,

Because that is just not true.

Please don’t tell me my son is in a better place,

Though it is true, I want him here with me.

Don’t tell me someday I’ll hear his voice, see his face,

Beyond today I cannot see.

Don’t tell me it is time to move on,

Because I cannot.

Don’t tell me to face the fact he is gone,

Because denial is something I can’t stop.

Don’t tell me to be thankful for the time I had,

Because I wanted more.

Don’t tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,

I’ll never be as I was before.

What you can tell me is you will be here for me,

That you will listen when I talk of my child.

You can share with me my precious memories,

You can even cry with me for a while.

And please don’t hesitate to say his name,

Because it is something I long to hear everyday.

Friend please realize that I can never be the same,

But if you stand by me,

You may like the new person I become someday.

Maybe you’re the grieving parent … if you are, I want you to know that I will be praying for you! I want to remind you that you have friends that are wanting to listen to your heart, who are willing to comfort you and who love you! Give them a call. If you need to talk to somebody, open up! Grief shared is grief diminished.

If you are that friend to a parent who has lost, please pray for them … maybe even give them a phone call, or stop on over at their house … and talk with them, walk with them through the grief that may have been forgotten by others around them, but is only magnified during this coming holiday! This is a time of the year when we have the opportunity to be real friends to those who have forgotten needs.