This past week has been a hard week. You have heard it time and time again that parenting is hard, but you never really understand this until you are in the thick of it. This week was one of those weeks. This week, my child has been misunderstood. This week, my child has been bullied. This week, my strong child has cried, and I, too, cried. I cried with him. I cried for him, and now I cry through my words in hopes to help others know that their child is not “weird.”

This past summer, I met a wonderful woman who has a Masters in Education, specializing in gifted children. Oh, she was breath of fresh air. Just hanging out with my child for an hour, she told me that “you have a special child, a gifted child.” I have known this since he was the age of 2, when he could read the letters off my husband’s sweatshirt. I was hesitant to call him “gifted” because of the weight that I thought it would place on him and also how it would make me sound by call him “gifted,” BUT I am here to proudly say that I have a gifted child. I was wrong in my assumptions, and I want to share with you the myths that I have believed or heard over the years about “gifted kids.”

Myth 1. Gifted kids don’t need help; they’ll do fine on their own.
Truth 1. Would you send a star athlete to train for the Olympics without a coach? Gifted students need guidance from well-trained teachers who challenge and support them in order to fully develop their abilities. Many gifted students may be so far ahead of their same-age peers that they know more than half of the grade-level curriculum before the school year begins. Their resulting boredom and frustration can lead to low achievement, despondency or unhealthy work habits. The role of the teacher is crucial for spotting and nurturing talents in school.

Myth 2. That kid can’t be gifted because he is receiving poor grades.
Truth 2. Underachievement describes a discrepancy between a student’s performance and his actual ability. The roots of this problem differ, based on each child’s experiences. Gifted students may become bored or frustrated in an unchallenging classroom situation causing them to lose interest, learn bad study habits or distrust the school environment. Other students may mask their abilities to try to fit in socially with their same-age peers and still others may have a learning disability that masks their giftedness. No matter the cause, it is imperative that parents help gifted learners break the cycle of underachievement in order to achieve their full potential. This is one of the hardest parts of parenting a gifted child, especially if you do not have the resources. I recommend National Association for Gifted Children.

Myth 3. Gifted kids are happy, popular and well-behaved in school.
Truth 3. Many gifted students flourish in their community and school environment. However, some gifted children differ in terms of their emotional and moral intensity, sensitivity to expectations and feelings, perfectionism and deep concerns about societal problems. Others do not share interests with their classmates, resulting in isolation or being labeled unfavorably as a “nerd.” Because of these difficulties, the school experience is one to be endured rather than celebrated.

Myth 4. You’re child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). He cannot stay still.
Truth 4. The gifted child’s characteristics of intensity, sensitivity, impatience and high motor activity can easily be mistaken for ADHD. Some gifted children may suffer from ADHD, and thus have a dual diagnosis of gifted and ADHD; but with my child, he was not, and he was misdiagnosed at school. Fortunately, I found great health care professionals, who clearly understood my child. They have suggested some techniques for him to use in the classroom to help him focus on the teacher.

Myth 5. There is something psychologically wrong with your child because he likes to be alone and doesn’t play with the other kids.
Truth 5. Most gifted children do feel different from kids their age and like to spend some time alone. However, when presented with “true” peers, gifted children often prefer spending time with them rather than being alone. In childhood, gifted children often do go through periods of depression related to their disappointed idealism and their feelings of aloneness and alienation develop in a feeling of depression. However, it is not at all clear that this kind of depression warrants such a major diagnosis.